Because Fruitcakes Are Awesome!

Hey

2010-04-02T23:10:00.001-04:00

Hey

The Most Random, Crazy, and (more than just slightly) Disturbing Story you'll read today.

2009-02-15T20:29:00.003-05:00

THE MONKEY AND THE JUMPSUIT:

So once upon a time there was this monkey in a plaid jumpsuit named raechel that always shouted random antedotes at people that lindsey lohan - tis the monkeys name- met on the streets of a suburb of Rooklyn-b in the twilight phase of the moon on pluto (before it stopped being a planet). "Squeezing lemon spit on your ring toe of your left hand does not make you taller but it does make the lampshades go real not bright when you aim it at them!" Needless to say that this became a problem for Lindsey Lohan so she went and saw the mystical goat of brandeburg to get advice.

Just as Lindsey was arriving, the goat heard "drink a lollipop in portugal under the rising sun to make your hiccups go away for approximately pi seconds!" and got real mad. He was so angry that he turned into a human! The goat human understood the urgency of the problem that going to the vma's proposed so he gave her a gift and told her to go all the way back home to Kentucky and sit in a gas station before reading the note and opening the parcel.

So Lindsey did just that. She finally arrived there a week later. It would have been sooner except for the fact that the airlines thought she was a terrorist and wouldn't let her on, plus, she was after-all a monkey, so she had to unicycle all of the way across the atlantic. It was a brilliant plan, no?

Well, she was sitting there in the outhouse of the gas station when she finally read the note. It said "Take off the forking jumpsuit, duh!" Confused, she opened the package. And underneath the thin layers of brown packaging paper, was a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She put the on and headed for the vma's at last.

When she parked her unicycle in the parking lot, it suddenly occured to her. She left her invitation in the pocket of her jumpsuit! Oh no, what was she going to do?1?

Stay Tuned for the Next Episode: RETURN TO KENTUCKY!

OMNIMAX

2009-02-14T18:14:00.002-05:00

Kay, so um'z, yeah, first of all, I changed the useless facts widget or whatever it was called because I thought the stuff it said was really dumb and obvious (i.e. "did you know vampire bats drink blood?"). So now the newest one is a fortune cookie which I personally really like :) .

My friend was really nice because yesterday in school, he had a nice little rose delivered to me during first period and I was so surprised! He's so sweet! :)

To be honest I'm really not in the mood to type right now so I'll just sum it up real quick.

I am in the geology society at my school and today we went to a museum and saw a couple of movies about fish and the great lakes and then one on mt. everest. In between the showings though we walked down a couple of blocks (in freezing snow - I felt so bad for the homeless people :( ) only to find that the restraunt was closed so we walked another block and spent an hour in subway where I started a sing-a-long of Livin on a Prayer by Bon Jovi.

Then we went to the gift shop after subway (this was before the mt.everest thing by the way) and it was really cool! They had all of the most strangest things I'd ever seen in my life almost. It was like walking into a really big discovery channel store before they closed. I ended up getting a giant penny, 4 color change pencils, and a tube of grow your own snow. And that was just normal stuff compared to everything else in there. I'll send pictures from my phone later on.

In between and during that stuff I hung out with a bunch of guys who I knew from summer school (NO - I did NOT fail, I took an early class because I'm actually very smart - seriously) and that was a load of fun because we are all super random and crazy and annoying k lol.

So yeah, it has been a good day so far. Plus every year, my mommy gets everyone in our family a big box of Malley's chocolates which is great because the two of us are both highly dangerous chocoholics. Last year i got macadamia nuts covered in milk chocolate and then this year I got chocolate covered peanut butter creams. I can't decide which one i enjoy more. I think maybe the macadamia nut ones but it's a close rae between the two of them.

My friend was really nice because yesterday in school, he had a nice little rose delivered to me during first period and I was so surprised! He's so sweet! :)

But yeah, so anyway now I am going to go watch Taladega Knights just because I haven't seen it in a while. Ciao everyone. And oh yeah, by the way, have a very merry Valentine's Day! :D

Yo Gabba Gabba

2009-02-12T22:22:00.002-05:00

Me and my friend Hayley were talking and I showed her this (what I thought was hilariosly cute) valentines day card and she was like, "That's yo gabba gabba! Its so disturbing haha." So I was really confused 'cause I'd never heard of it and soon it was playing on my computer. It is creepy she's right but it's really funny too. So yeah here it is :P :

Or go to the url: [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxKDjY53s8E ]

What is love? That is

2009-02-06T15:50:00.001-05:00

What is love? That is my photo assignment for school and i have no original ideas yet. Any help? Please? Aw cmon people! Thankies! :D

I got my temps on

2009-02-03T19:13:00.001-05:00

I got my temps on saturday. :D

Sorry but im pretty sure

2009-01-21T13:50:00.001-05:00

Sorry but im pretty sure the posts are all messed up b/c im sending from my phone. Try reading from the bottom up.

So at the end of

2009-01-21T13:47:00.001-05:00

So at the end of class jake tried calling again on speakerphone but somehow got routed to the internet. Hes gonna try again tonite.Should b good.

So we wanted to call

2009-01-21T13:41:00.001-05:00

So we wanted to call it but my teacher wouldnt let us use the phone. Call on a cell,problem solved. But then she said we had to do vocab first.

So today during spanish we

2009-01-21T13:37:00.001-05:00

So today during spanish we were copying vocab when my friend next to me named jake found:a number and the words ask for birdman in his book.

The Turtle Who Doesn't Need a Pitchfork

2009-01-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

Yokey-doke, so here's the deal. Me, my friends Loren, and Hayley decided that we needed to do something for our other friend's birthday next week. Her name is Loryn. Well the three of us decided to go see Tale of Desperaux (it's that one new animated movie with the mouse who's a knight or something. And then after we did that we told her to cancel plans for her birthday. Long story short, she said no. So then they were gonna go on Saturday but I couldn't because I was going to a funeral. They said they might go.

Kay, so now I'm caught up.

So tonight I texted Hayley to see if they actually went or not. She said no because they were out of tickets so she was all mad at Loren (who I assume was driving).

I told her it was a boring Sunday night, why not do something interesting? Since I'm such a great friend of Hayley's, I told her I'd help her get together an angry mob.

So we were gonna go to Loren's house and Hayley said she'd bring the pitchforks and stuff.
Needless to say that was unoriginal (which is extremely strange because she's the one who inspires me to be crazy), so I thought up another plan:turtles.

They're so cute and harmless right? Not so much, they're extremely bity and snappity, I guess that's why they're called snapping turtles, huh?

So now the new plan is go to Loren's let lose our ambush on the front lines and videotape for America's Funniest Home Videos. Remember, slow and steady wins the race. :)

Then after that, we'll probably just go and see the movie after. Or harass her twin brother. None of us like him, David's an id-i-oht.

So uh yeah, this should be interesting.

fibtea895
"There are no bad ideas, only a lack of will to execute them."

Let's Vote: Do You Think You Could Kill A Person with a Piece of Bacon If You Were Wacko Enough?

2009-01-18T19:59:00.001-05:00

K this has unofficially become my new mission in life: start a mobile blog and actually keep it going for a while. Part of my 101 in 1001 list. (thanks to TheChipmunkClub.wordpress.com I might add.)
So here's the deal with 101 in 1001: Most people make new years resolutions that only last like 1/12 the year if that. But studies have proven that people are actually more likely to complete 101 little tasks in 1001 days than try and tackle 1 huge job that takes up a whole year.

By that, they are basically saying the world is a bunch of procrastinators with potential, but that might be just a tad bit on the rude side, you know what I'm saying?

So I have too joined that phenomena that draws you in and am attempting my own list (which I will post later when I learn how to add pages and all those other doohickeys (<- real word, spell check even said so! So ha! ).

Um yeah, well back to the point after that longish explanation.

The point is Leona Lewis is the most annoying singer on the face of the planet! Just kidding, that's not it (although it is true, I must point out).

This is my blog and hopefully will stay that way for a while. :)

also, my answer to header q, is no. but toast might be possible, I wouldn't know though cuz I've never tried it.

Whoo! Lets get started! Yeah!

colored pencils have feelings too you know.

2009-01-16T20:03:00.000-05:00

Yayness, first post. I will hereby start off by saying blab-a-gad-zook. I don't know what it means but im sure somebody, somewhere will be offended. TBC.